After many years of running and hiding, Yaakov was finally about to face his brother, Esav, for the first time since receiving the blessings from their father, Yitzchak. Yaakov trembled in fear from the prospect of meeting up with his brother. He prayed, brought korbanot, sacrifices, and even divided his family up in such a way that an all out attack would not leave the family line destroyed forever. Why was Yaakov so afraid? After all, he received blessings from his father that his family would become many. Had Yaakov lost faith in his father, and ultimately, in Hashem Himself?
Rashbam, in his commentary on the Torah, explains that Yaakov was having a crisis of identity. When Yaakov received the blessings from his father he had taken on the persona of Esav, his brother, through his clothing and his actions. All these years away had provided him the time to refine himself, to become more connected with his true person and, in turn, no longer the young boy who received that blessing. In turn, Yaakov had not lost faith. He was worried that the blessing which promised his safety and longevity would not have any impact as he was not the same person, his identity had changed.
Facing Our Identities: Lessons from Yaakov during the Asseret Yemei Teshuvah
By Rabbi Jordan Silvestri, Head of School
Asseret Yemei Teshuvah, the Ten Days of Repentance, beginning from Rosh HaShanah and culminating in Yom Kippur, is a yearly reminder that our focus on character development through the guiding light of the Torah is a constant. However, this period of time is the most focused, the most saturated, and the most dense as we hone in on self reflection. Each year calls to us to look inside. This year, a year removed from the events of October 7th, 2023, requires our self reflection to be unlike any other.
As the calendar moved from June to July, August to September, there was a nagging question that kept coming to the surface. At first, I thought it was about work, my job as a leader and the growth of our school. Over the past few weeks, it has taken on a new shade entirely.
Does Rashbam's explanation of Yaakov’s trepidation make sense to us? Yaakov was not a new Yaakov, refined through his trials with his father-in-law, wives and children. He was the same Yaakov that grew up in the shadow of Esav’s personality, guided by his mother’s sweet kindness and refined by his father’s unwavering dedication to Hashem and the future of the Jewish people. So what really changed? What caused Yaakov to lose sleep?
The event of Yaakov wrestling with the angel is pivotal. As Rashi explained, prior to meeting Esav, Yaakov wrestled with his angel, ultimately triumphing over him. Yaakov would not allow for him to return to his regular affairs before awarding him his trophy in the form of a new name. Yaakov received the name, “Israel.” Rashbam explains this name is not a throwaway. It held significance beyond being henceforth the name of our nation. Yaakov realized that his identity, the one he attempted to flee from after receiving the blessings, was here to stay. It was time for him to embrace it, face Esav and lean into his true identity.
In the many months after October 7th we saw amazing kindness, a renewed connection with the larger Jewish people and droves of students and young adults who were reconfirming their identities as Jews. In seeing the events of October 7th and how the world responded, similar to the Jews during the early years of the Holocaust, they realized that their Jewish identity was not something that they could take on or off at will. It was a part of who they were and who they will always be. This identification rejuvenation, albeit brought on by tragedy, is significant. It is also the source of the question that has haunted me these past few months.
For us, the Jews who identify as Jewish, who live their lives Jewishly, what does this event - 365+ days in the future - call upon us to do? Should we share the fear that Yaakov had as we venture to face our creator? Do we recognize that our dedication to halacha, Jewish law, in the light of modernity and modern thought, the source of our sincerest relationship with Hashem, is on the line? And, if we do recognize that, do we understand that our decisions today, now, will be the difference between us having Jewish grandchildren or not?
Article after article in recent months have shared how this year has conjured up a fever pitch of unaffiliated Jews reconnecting to their history, their religion, their long lost family traditions. Yet, what we do not see is what this moment has done to the affiliated Jews, to the institutions of Jewish learning and to the communities that house them.
These ten days are not like most years. We are facing an identity crisis.
Will we work to run and hide from our true identity or will we take moments like Yaakov’s battle with the angel or October 7th to remind us who we really are? Let’s learn from Yaakov’s lesson and lean in as we model for our children what a relationship with Hashem through unwavering commitment to His laws, ethics and ways of life looks like. If we do, we are not only ensuring our relationship with Hashem remains strong. We are ensuring the future of our grandchildren’s relationship as well.