Rivkah is finally blessed with a child. Twins in fact! Together with Yitzchak, they davened for this miracle. They yearned for the chance to be parents to the next generation of the Jewish people, the child that would inherit the blessings of Avraham and carry forward the mission that Hashem originally enlisted him for. Then came the reality of carrying not one but two children:
וַיִּתְרֹֽצְצ֤וּ הַבָּנִים֙ בְּקִרְבָּ֔הּ וַתֹּ֣אמֶר אִם־כֵּ֔ן לָ֥מָּה זֶּ֖ה אָנֹ֑כִי וַתֵּ֖לֶךְ לִדְרֹ֥שׁ אֶת־יְהֹוָֽה׃
The children grappled with each other, and (Rivkah) said, “If this is what this was all about, why (did I yearn for this)!?” And she went to inquire from Hashem - Bereishit 25:22
Rivkah was beside herself. She was experiencing the worst kind of pregnancy pain and fatigue that was unique to her alone. The Or HaChaim explains that unlike most twin pregnancies, Rivkah’s two babies were not mirror images of each other. They did not possess the same temperament, the same personality and sleep cycles. It was explained to Rivkah by Hashem:
וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה לָ֗הּ שְׁנֵ֤י (גיים) [גוֹיִם֙] בְּבִטְנֵ֔ךְ וּשְׁנֵ֣י לְאֻמִּ֔ים מִמֵּעַ֖יִךְ יִפָּרֵ֑דוּ וּלְאֹם֙ מִלְאֹ֣ם יֶֽאֱמָ֔ץ וְרַ֖ב יַעֲבֹ֥ד צָעִֽיר׃
Hashem explained that there were two nations inside her abdomen, two countries one stronger than the other, one will overpower the other and the older will serve the younger
- Bereishit 25:23
These twins, soon to be known as Yaakov and Esav, would be the antagonists to the next chapters of the Jewish people. They would fight over positions of power, merit and, ultimately, their father’s blessings and inheritance. If this is simply a question of sibling rivalry, Bereshit has no shortage of challenging family structures. Yet, not even the difficulties between Yosef and his brothers is so deeply experienced in the words of the Torah. What is unique about this brother duo that requires the Torah to spend so much time over the next three parshiot to explore?
Roughly 23 years ago, as I was preparing to read Parshat Toldot for my bar mitzvah, I asked some of the same questions. I was curious about Yitzchak’s close bond with Esav, the relationship he lacked with his mother and the manner in which he attempted to follow every step that Yaakov took to appease his father yet to no avail. There was something psychologically deeper at play.
In the years since my youth, I gravitated towards the notion of Yaakov and Esav as dualities, two personalities that exist in all of us. As the Or HaChaim explained, these twins existed in one womb and represented two very different individual makeups. In the aftermath of Esav feeling cheated out of his blessing, you hear and feel the pain and anguish. Not of someone who lost what was never his in the first place, rather, of someone who was trying to attain the level of his brother and never hit the right note.
Over the past few months, in the aftermath of the events of October 7th, we have gravitated towards more acts of kindness, more prayers and more learning of Torah. These are the swords and shields that Hashem has handed down to generations to fight the pain and anguish caused by our enemies. Hashem provided us with the tools to make our voices heard as witnessed by our students this past week, gathering with 300,000 others in Washington in solidarity with Israel. As the pain continues and the horrors both in Israel and on college campuses persist, we may feel that we are constantly striving to hit the right note and never seeming to do it just right to reap the results we desire. We may constantly feel like Esav, always cheated.
This cannot be. This will not be. How do I know? Think about the thousands upon thousands of Jewish day schools across the religious spectrum that went insane and made their way to Washington to stand with other Jews - some alike and some different. Look at the future of the Jewish people and their resolve. They are not taking the Esav approach and doing just enough to not be impactful. They are stepping into the Yaakov mentality and never allowing a perceived wall to prevent them from getting to the other side.
In a time when we do not often listen to others as we are quick to question, dismiss and judge as Esav did Yaakov. What a world it could be if we took Yaakov’s perspective and never give up even when the world keeps telling us to do so. It is time for our children to be the teachers and for us to be the students.